Lifetraps — also called schemas — are deep emotional patterns that form in childhood and play out in adult life without you realising it. Schema Therapy, developed by Dr. Jeffrey Young, identifies 18 of these patterns. A high score on any schema means that pattern is strongly active for you. A low score means it's not a dominant force in how you operate.
Abandonment
Anxiety that people you love will leave — even when no real threat exists.
Might cling in relationships, panic when someone pulls away, or leave first to avoid being left.
Mistrust & Abuse
Expecting to be hurt or betrayed, making it difficult to trust others.
Keeps people at arm's length, reads neutral actions as hostile, struggles to believe others have good intentions.
Emotional Deprivation
Feeling that your need for warmth and understanding will never truly be met.
Feels chronically lonely even in relationships, rarely asks for help, expects not to be understood.
Defectiveness & Shame
A deep belief that you are fundamentally flawed or unworthy of love.
Hides perceived flaws, fears intimacy, dreads being truly known — and found lacking.
Social Isolation
Feeling different from everyone and like you don't truly belong anywhere.
Feels like an outsider in groups even when welcomed, avoids social situations, struggles to find people who understand them.
Dependence
Doubting your ability to handle everyday life and decisions without support.
Avoids making decisions, leans heavily on others for reassurance, feels paralyzed without guidance.
Vulnerability to Harm
A persistent sense that catastrophe — illness, disaster, loss — could strike at any moment.
Over-prepares for worst-case scenarios, avoids travel or new situations, can't relax even when things are fine.
Enmeshment
Becoming so emotionally merged with someone else that your own identity disappears.
Struggles to know what they actually want, feels responsible for others' emotions, has difficulty with personal boundaries.
Failure
Believing you have failed — or will inevitably fail — compared to others.
Procrastinates or avoids challenges, dismisses own achievements, secretly fears being exposed as incompetent.
Entitlement
Feeling special and exempt from the rules and limits that apply to others.
Gets frustrated when rules apply to them, has difficulty compromising, may struggle with close relationships and reciprocity.
Lack of Self-Control
Struggling to tolerate frustration, delay gratification, or follow through on tasks.
Starts things and doesn't finish, acts impulsively, avoids discomfort even at significant cost to themselves.
Subjugation
Suppressing your own needs and giving others control — often to avoid conflict or rejection.
Says yes when they mean no, builds up quiet resentment over time, feels their own needs don't count.
Self-Sacrifice
Voluntarily putting others' needs above your own — at significant personal cost.
Exhausted from constant giving, feels guilty resting, often drawn to people who need to be helped or saved.
Approval-Seeking
Basing your sense of worth on the recognition and validation of others.
Changes opinions based on who's in the room, feels devastated by criticism, struggles to act without external validation.
Negativity & Pessimism
A pervasive focus on what could go wrong, while minimising the positive.
Struggles to enjoy good things while they last, waits for bad news even in good times, focuses on potential losses.
Emotional Inhibition
Keeping emotions so tightly controlled that spontaneity and authentic expression feel unsafe.
Comes across as cold or distant, uncomfortable expressing emotion, suppresses anger or sadness even in private.
Unrelenting Standards
Pushing toward impossibly high standards — and feeling like a failure when you fall short.
Never feels like enough, can't relax until everything is perfect, sacrifices health and relationships to achieve more.
Punitiveness
Believing that people — yourself included — should be harshly punished for mistakes.
Harsh inner critic, little tolerance for failure, holds grudges and struggles to forgive themselves or others.